CHEATED

ok what the freak.

i know that i should be really happy that i'm here in taiwan doing an internship, but i have to say, that feeling has somewhat wore off.

in a way, i feel like i'm being brushed off, or just put to the side as an afterthought, especially since the taiwan tech trek kids are here. i know that it's hard to give many people equal amounts of attention, but i feel like it's been like this even before the TTT kids came along.

i have been so unproductive, and i dont think that i'll be able to produce the results i'd want in the time that i have left (8 weeks, i know). but still, especially with ecological experiments, everything takes time and repetition to gain solid evidence and results of the created hypothesis. i feel like many things are unorganized and not completely thought out in a way where recording data would be neat and efficient.

also, what sucks is that michael and robert both left for taichung yesterday, while i'm still at nmmba. i was under the impression that all of us PRIME kids would be able to go together to visit NCHC and see their tech, but i guess not. i mean, ALL of us were allocated funds to support these external host site trips, which would be really cool to go to and to experience the culture in other cities. but i guess not, at least not for me.

i can't help but feel that i've been brushed aside. today, we had our weekly lab meetings, and the ttt kids were introducing themselves. allen had mentioned that he wanted to go scuba diving, and everyone was interested in it too (robert and michael would be too if they were there, especially michael). the option of getting group scuba diving lessons was presented to them later on, but it was never mentioned to us PRIME students when we arrived at the host site. i can't help but wonder if there's some reason why... especially when we were told that we would be able to do these activities and visit these other institutions.

i know that i'm just ranting right now, but i can't help but feel like i'm being left out, and just toss into the wild and uninhabited lands of southern taiwan. there's no night life, and the closest market would require 10 minutes on a motorcycle to get to, and it's not as big as it should be.

*sigh* maybe tomorrow will be a better day. i AM going to taipei this weekend though... still need to deal with my visa and stupid return plane ticket problem. i'll probably end up staying in taipei for like 5 days or whatever. i almost don't care about sticking to my experiment itinerary anymore...